Killing of Gadhafi

Gadhafi’s Death

Why was I so disturbed when I saw the final moment of Gadhafi’s death? He was a hated dictator who killed many of his own people. He was as ruthless as those who caught him. Eye for an eye, as they say.

Yet, I have been struggling to figure out what I might have done if I were in that crowd who caught this horrible man. Why should I care? Why would I be concerned with an event that took place across the Atlantic?

Only way I am able to answer is, “Because I am a Christian!” Because I am a Christian who takes the Bible seriously I cannot escape from Matthew 5:43-48,

‘You have heard that it was said, “You shall love your neighbour and hate your enemy.” But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax-collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers and sisters, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

In a way I am wrestling with this passage because according to this passage, I have no escape when it comes to loving my enemies. Either I follow what Christ asks of me or I am not a follower. I cannot be a Christian and ignore some parts of Jesus’ teachings.

What would be a Christian response for me if I am in a situation where I have more power than my most dreaded enemy? What is an appropriate response to the most hated enemy who unleashed evil on so many including me when I have him trembling before me? What would it mean for me to love the mortal enemy when all my anger explodes into my brain at his sight?

Would God not excuse me or forgive me for killing the one whose death would bring relief to so many? Would God not bring justice through God’s own servants in this crooked world?

Yet, there comes the voice that calls my attention, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord” (Romans 12:9).

Christians throughout centuries died praying for those who were persecuting and killing them instead of calling all Christians to rise up in holy war against God's enemies. Should I do any less?

One thing that distinguishes Christians is our insistence of loving our enemies. Here we are talking about loving enemies actively, not passively. We are not to be doormats but those with Christ's love sharing life even with our mortal enemies.

So I ponder about killing of Gadhafi and what my sharing of love might have been if I were one of those who caught him.

Suicide and Christians

Suicide

News of Jamie Hubley, son of Ottawa Councillor Allan Hubley, committing suicide hit me hard. It brought me back to a funeral service of a gay teenager I did in Ottawa. It remains as the saddest worship service I have conducted in my life. What a terrible time it was for him when he chose to kill himself and for his family whom he loved dearly and who loved him dearly.

In the media, as was the case with Yueyue, the focus was put on the issue of teenage suicide provoked by bullying turning people’s attention away from sadness and difficulty of facing what happened. We are told that there are many factors at play; anti-gay environment in high school settings; verbal and cyber-bullying; helplessness of teachers; societal attitudes that allow abuses and so on.

Dissecting and dividing the suicide into many smaller components or examining the whole events as many smaller contributing factors are attempts to control Jamie’s death. As each factor is teased out and examined on its own (i.e. high school atmosphere that breeds homophobic attitudes, inability for teenagers to find appropriate help) Jamie gets lost, not to mention his family. In a way it is an acknowledgement that we as a society feel powerless in dealing with the big issue.

There indeed were many factors that lead to the suicide. Ultimately, the truth is that love that gives life was not what Jamie received from his peers and neighbours. Sure, there were odd ones who tried to care, but whatever care he received did not lead to life.

What I as a Christian struggle with is that after 2 thousand years of preaching and living the life of love demonstrated in Christ Jesus, we are still not able in giving hope of life to those who are distraught, oppressed, hurt, suffering, and in despair.

There are so many people who ponder about committing suicide: they insist that life is no longer for them; they would be better dead than living; they find no meaning to live. Dread and despair have not been overcome by the self-emptying love that leads to life.

It makes me sad that Jamie was never able to experience life in a way that is filled with hope. We as Christians—often too quick in throwing out righteous judgements and condemnations—have not been able to be a faith community where the outcast, oppressed, weak, meek, poor and hopeless find home.

I am profoundly sad especially because we as God’s loving people were not available to Jamie as his home. For good or ill, somehow, it appears as that to Jamie, Christians never appeared as those who would love him dearly.

The young person whose funeral service I conducted did not see Christians as ones who would love him unconditionally; he experiences of Christians were nothing but love; he was sure that a Christian community would disown him.

I wrestle with my own thoughts as I try to think of ways to be a Christian to everyone.

Yueyue and Christians

It did take a while for me to rethink over some of the issues on those three events. I could not settle down long enough to clear my mind thinking about them. Let me tackle them one at a time.

First one was about Yueyue, a Chinese toddler who was run over by a truck and was left for a long time with no one helping and then run over again by another truck. She eventually died. An old lady came to her aid only to be accused later by others that she helped only for money and fame. Josh Tapper of Toronto Star tried to give some backgrounds to help understand in an article.

The Globe and Mail columnist, Gary Mason, wrote about those cases in which we saw many in North America doing the same as those bystanders in China. Of course, the point Mr. Mason made was that we have enough of our own incidences and are as guilty in similar circumstances.

Indeed, Jesus even told the parable of Good Samaritan (Luke 10:28-38) to make the point about who the good neighbour was.

My struggle was not whether the help should have been given or not. The accident—yes, it was an accident and not something that was planned by anyone—ended in a tragic way. Finger pointing aside, self-reflections aside, also my personal view of right and wrong aside, I have been thinking about how we do not seem to miss the little girl in our collective mea culpa and in our attempt to reveal sins of others in order to point accusatory fingers away from us. Let me explain.

The closed circuit camera video that outraged so many galvanized China and beyond and many people wrote, reported and analyized in much the same way Mr. Tapper and Mr. Mason have done. Yes, some have gone further in judging and condemning those who did not help. Yet in all these reports, blogs and writings Yueyue appeared as an act in drama through which people raised their voices. Reading through all of them did not let us come to know her at all. She was a victim at the most and soon became anonymous again.

After she died, the spot light moved on; everyone including those who vented turned back to their daily tasks. She has disappeared back into the anonymity from which she appeared ever so briefly. That is, she no longer existed in the same way she did not exist before the accident took her life.

For a brief moment when she appeared before us until she breathed last, we could have been her neighbour. We could have loved her. We could have made her a precious little girl. Instead, sadly she became a cause celebre for those who were outraged at bystanders for some; a reason to reflect for those who were analytical on human indifferences and/or fears; and an evidence of this cruel world for those who were victims of principalities and powers.

I have been struggling on how we could have been ones who would bring God’s love and presence leading to life as she faced death. I think about how I could have meaningfully loved Yueyue as her neighbour sharing pains, suffering and be there in spirit as she breathed last. I also wonder about ways I as a Christian could have loved her parents who were in deep grief and guilt.

Three awful events

The young toddler being run over by two trucks in China without anyone helping, a teenager committing suicide in Ottawa after being bullied for being different and the killing of Gadhafi have troubled me in the past few days that I could not write clearly. These three are very different in nature, yet, somehow, I cannot dissociate one from another.

The first one was all about the people’s indifference to the terrible suffering of a two year old. The truck driver who turned himself in later explained that he was hoping that the girl would die because the compensation he would pay would be less than if she lived. Many who saw her in such a terrible state ignored her and continued in their daily activities. The naked indifference froze me totally.

In the second case, the teenager did not want to endure the suffering any longer. This incident hit me hard because not too long ago I did a service for a teenager who committed suicide for much the same reason. It still hurts me deeply.

In Gadhafi’s case the rawness of vengeful killing, though justified in the minds of those who have been oppressed by him, left me sadder than ever.

I am still having hard time processing these three horrifying events. I need time to think and meditate before I gain enough courage to examine what these events mean to me.

Silence (Part 1)

Everyone speaks or do they? We communicate in many different ways. Using words is one mode of methods that we seem to prefer. We often think that when we speak we are expressing ourselves. We let others know our feelings, experiences and being by using words. Another way we communicate is through our body language. Often a raising of one’s eyebrow can say more than words). People get cues as to what we are up to by observing our behaviours. Our world in this sense is visual as well as verbal.

What happens, however, if suddenly we enter into a non-visual and non-verbal world? First instinct would probably be to fill it with what we know. That is, we will try to communicate by using words or gestures. We will get very anxious. This is not that different than if one finds oneself in a strange country which speaks a language that is totally different. At least in this case, visual clues do help to navigate in a foreign country. For example, in a monastery where silence was the rule, I noticed that monks developed an elaborate system of communication using various methods including drawing and hand gestures not unlike sign languages used by the deaf.

As relational beings, we become awfully stressed and anxious when we cannot communicate with those around us. Yet, in the world of Christian faith, we plunge into God’s world where words, drawings, or signs often make no sense to us. That is, to most of us—with an exception of the very select few—have only had silence from God. Mind you, many Christians found elaborate ways to interpret the silence they had encountered. Often their interpretations were wrong—as wrong as the predictions of the end of the world.

Yet, silence is far more important part of communications than we might think. Silence is what gives words, gestures, signs and symbols meaning. Indeed silence is far more prevalent than words that make up our sentences, signs that we exchange with one another and symbols we offer. Without right pauses to bring in silence, our sentences are nothing more than words being lined up.

Think, then, for a minute what silence really is.

Voting

I heard a story from a friend who attended a meeting of the World Alliance of Reformed and Presbyterian Churches in the 1980s. The chair, Rev. Dr. Allen Boesack, a black African living under Apartheid regime in South Africa at the time, asked people for no votes even if a motion was overwhelmingly or sometimes unanimously agreed. When someone asked why he was doing that, he explained that it was all about allowing everyone to exercise one’s freedom to speak one’s view. To him calling for a nay vote even if there was only one person was the exercise of free speech that needed a special sensitivity. More than that, for him calling out for the smallest of voices was the act of love that made this freedom possible.

In North America we do not worry too much about participating in elections or in voting during meetings. We take our freedom to express our views for granted. We are given enough opportunities to vote in or out a government we do not like. We can vote yes or nay or abstain. We do not have to worry about having someone burning our houses, beating us up on a street, and being thrown into a prison without charges. We would never come to appreciate the very freedom we enjoy until it is taken away from us.

Living with this endless and unbound freedom, we neglect this task of voting and expressing our views. For us, because of the lack of immediate consequences we do not know the price of neglect when we do not bother to vote or become apathetic. As Christians, on the surface, we seem to be justified in not participating in secular political activities. After all, we believe in the separation of church and state. What is there for Christians to say on political matters? We do not want to be like those fundamentalists or evangelical Christians who want to bring God’s dominion over the world, no?

Actually, there is another view that we need to consider as Christians and take seriously the affairs of the world. As Christians who deeply care about God and our neighbours, voting of any kind including elections ought to be seen as our way of contributing to the world, a way of discerning God’s will to establish a fair, just and loving world. That is, casting a vote is to help the world discern a way to love God and neighbour. Our standard in discerning is that it ought to meet the test loving even the enemies as Christ beckoned us to do. The act of voting, therefore, becomes an act of faith that brings hope and love to this troubled world.

What about atheists, agnostics and others, you say? As Christians, we do our part in loving them. The difference between Christians' and secularists' views is that we through vote are helping to discern God's will while the rest of the world express their views. Our hope is that by participating in this democratic process called elections, we come along side secularists and help them discern ways to build a compassionate and caring world where the vulnerable are protected, poor are lifted up, hungry are fed, sick and those who mourn are comforted.

Indeed, our task as Christians is to discern for ourselves and help our neighbours discern the way of loving that casts out fears, brings forgiveness in order that enemies are reconciled, and point to hope-filled world that is to come in Christ. In this, we differ from all other Christians who express in order to impose their views on the world.

Decision to help

Decision

Last Sunday at the congregational meeting, the discussion was held on whether to take $10,000 from our endowment fund and send it to be used by Presbyterian World Service and Development for helping those who are suffering around the world. Hearing the motion, those how were speaking for argued that as Christians we ought to do so because being good stewards would mean to use what God gave us in loving our neighbours. Those who spoke against argued that reducing the fund would affect the future financial viability and that if we wanted to help we ought to raise the money without touching the fund.

An amendment was put forward to say that the fund match up to $5000 of all the money we would raise by Christmas 2011. The rationale behind the amendment was to encourage people to give while we also make sure that sufficient amount to go to help those who are in need. The amendment passed after a lengthy discussion in a fairly close vote. The amendment as the new motion passed.

I was glad to see such important discussion take place. The decision now puts the onus on everyone to do their best to love our neighbours not only here but also all around the world. We are certainly maturing as God's stewards.

Happiness

Today, two friends of mine are enjoying best wishes. It’s their birthday. As I wish them happiness, I have been thinking about what makes us happy. For some of us, being happy is having many friends, is living a comfortable life, is able to live life the way one wants to, is being with our own families, is having ability to enjoy what life has to offer.

Someone defined happiness as being in state of bliss. Another defined it as having achieved one’s life goals. Another insisted that it is nothing more than being surrounded by loving people. Yet another thought that being happy means doing everything one enjoys doing.

How would you define happiness for you?

For me, happiness is being immersed fully in loving God and others to a point that I do not even think of myself. That is, my happiness is found in this relationship with God and others. Even in solitude, I find myself experiencing the presence of God and of you.