Suicide and Christians

Suicide

News of Jamie Hubley, son of Ottawa Councillor Allan Hubley, committing suicide hit me hard. It brought me back to a funeral service of a gay teenager I did in Ottawa. It remains as the saddest worship service I have conducted in my life. What a terrible time it was for him when he chose to kill himself and for his family whom he loved dearly and who loved him dearly.

In the media, as was the case with Yueyue, the focus was put on the issue of teenage suicide provoked by bullying turning people’s attention away from sadness and difficulty of facing what happened. We are told that there are many factors at play; anti-gay environment in high school settings; verbal and cyber-bullying; helplessness of teachers; societal attitudes that allow abuses and so on.

Dissecting and dividing the suicide into many smaller components or examining the whole events as many smaller contributing factors are attempts to control Jamie’s death. As each factor is teased out and examined on its own (i.e. high school atmosphere that breeds homophobic attitudes, inability for teenagers to find appropriate help) Jamie gets lost, not to mention his family. In a way it is an acknowledgement that we as a society feel powerless in dealing with the big issue.

There indeed were many factors that lead to the suicide. Ultimately, the truth is that love that gives life was not what Jamie received from his peers and neighbours. Sure, there were odd ones who tried to care, but whatever care he received did not lead to life.

What I as a Christian struggle with is that after 2 thousand years of preaching and living the life of love demonstrated in Christ Jesus, we are still not able in giving hope of life to those who are distraught, oppressed, hurt, suffering, and in despair.

There are so many people who ponder about committing suicide: they insist that life is no longer for them; they would be better dead than living; they find no meaning to live. Dread and despair have not been overcome by the self-emptying love that leads to life.

It makes me sad that Jamie was never able to experience life in a way that is filled with hope. We as Christians—often too quick in throwing out righteous judgements and condemnations—have not been able to be a faith community where the outcast, oppressed, weak, meek, poor and hopeless find home.

I am profoundly sad especially because we as God’s loving people were not available to Jamie as his home. For good or ill, somehow, it appears as that to Jamie, Christians never appeared as those who would love him dearly.

The young person whose funeral service I conducted did not see Christians as ones who would love him unconditionally; he experiences of Christians were nothing but love; he was sure that a Christian community would disown him.

I wrestle with my own thoughts as I try to think of ways to be a Christian to everyone.